Showing posts with label avoidant personality disorder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label avoidant personality disorder. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 23, 2013

NaBloWriMo Day 23 - Owl Be Back

I had a personal revelation quite out of the blue yesterday.

This revelation resulted from a walk down memory lane where I was recalling various craft projects I had attempted over the years.

I remember either wanting to try whatever my dad's current hobby entailed or just experiment with the latest art trend.  Unlike my father, however, I couldn't sell one hobby to pay for the next, so I was somewhat limited as to the depth of study for each art form.

A partial list includes seed bead chokers, crocheting, Styrofoam egg decoupage, latch-hook rugs, string art, watercolor, leatherworking, paint-by-number, candle making, macrame, shrinky dinks, tissue paper flowers, embroidery, loops and loom potholders, washcloth and yarn-fringed pillows, and calligraphy.

As I envisioned each project, the steps involved, and who I learned from, I discovered a reoccurring theme...owls had played a significant role in my vintage craft projects--my string art was an owl, one of my candle molds was an owl, and a finished macrame wall hanging was also an owl.


This revelation sent me on a search of owl symbolism where I found references to intuition, intelligence, protection, and the ability to see what others do not see.  One reference I kept coming back to talked about the heightened sense of awareness and how being drawn to owls may indicate shared abilities.  This really made sense to me.  As I tend to be more of a silent observer, I can sometimes see through pretense to the truth of actions and motives.  And I have to say this has been a curse as well as a blessing.  Anticipating others' needs tends to be a burden, as I end up putting myself last.

Most enlightening in my search thus far was a reference on the macrameowl page that said, "The owl also teaches us to acknowledge the dark side of our personality, and in that darkness we may find food for growth."  This is quite intriguing given my self diagnosis of avoidant personality disorder due to growing up with a narcissistic parent.  I would love to delve more deeply into living with joy instead of darkness.

Additionally, this new-found knowledge has me thirsting for more information.  I remember touching on Greek Mythology in a high school CP English class, but my memory has filed away those days too deep to be helpful.  I now want to explore and embrace all there is to know about the Greek goddess, Athena as her bird was the owl.  Perhaps it will lead me to growth and a further understanding of me.

Owl never know until I try.  :)