NaBloWriMo Day 17 - Random Status Post Thursday - The Consequences of our Actions

The random status post on my facebook news feed this morning ended up being a lengthy rant regarding a local issue, so I looked to the next post for today's blog prompt--which was (of course) someone sharing someone else's photo-quote-recipe-grumpy-cat meme, etc..  Seems like 80 percent of the news feed anymore is "shared" content and not "friends" interacting...but I digress.

The shared image was a list of "House Rules"...which probably should have been displayed prominently in every room of my home:

• If you sleep on it, make it up.
• If you wear it, hang it up.
• If you drop it, pick it up.
• If you cook or eat from it, wash it up.
• If you make a mess, clean it up.
• If you open it, close it.
• If you use it all, replace it.
• If you borrow it, bring it back.

If I had just implemented this simple statement of preventative maintenance a long time ago when my kids were old enough to understand, I could have avoided so many conflicts and confrontations over the years. 

Not only should the rules be posted, but the consequences should be made clear as well if the rules are not followed.  

So often, parents make up consequences on the fly and not only are they unrealistic and not fitting to the circumstance, but they are not carried out--making them empty threats.  A child learns at a very early age about empty threats and knows that when the parent wields the "if-then" statement, it is nothing to be worried about...

I have watched and listened countless times as young parents state the following while their little ones pick at a meal:

"If you don't eat your food, then you won't get dessert."  

A half hour later when the youngster is screaming for a cookie and has only taken one tiny birdie bite from their plate, the child is handed a cookie.  That precise instant is when the parental unit loses all credibility and the threats become empty and the child KNOWS it.

My favorite threat to watch play out is the young family on an outing with other families. When the young one has a melt down or is picking on another child, the frustrated, exhausted parent says,

"If you don't stop that, I'm taking you home."  

About the fourth time this statement is uttered, not only is it laughable, but the child knows the parent is never going to leave the group to take them home making it useless as a tool of discipline.  I nearly chuckle out loud when the parent then whines, 

"How many times do I have to tell you?"  

And I think to myself...the exact number of times you have conditioned the child to hear that--indefinitely with no consequences.

It's called tough love for a reason.  Be the parent...not the pal.  

NaBloWriMo Day 3 - Random Status Post Thursday

Anticipating the start of NaBloWriMo, I came up with some specific topics I wanted to cover as well as creating some of my own writing prompts. One idea I wanted to try was on Thursdays through the month of October I would look to my FaceBook friends' status posts for inspiration--wherein the first post that appeared on my News Feed would become my topic/prompt for the day.

 So...that being said, the first post on my News Feed this morning went like this:
 "Fortunate to say I haven't had this crappy of a day in a long time! So, if any of you have the full version of the Parenting Book, I need a copy cuz mine seems to be missing ALOT of chapters...ugh"

 Volumes have been written on the subject of parenting; however, who has the time to read everything and sort out what would be helpful in any given situation while trying to handle the situation? Additionally, no two children are alike, so how could one Parenting Book fit the bill for all kids?

 On several occasions, I have tried to apologize to my children when I realize that I have reacted poorly or inappropriately to a situation. I will use the excuse that they didn't come with a manual. (I'm usually a great one to have around after the crisis is over.) Other times, my wonderful husband will be quick to remind me of my inadequacies by saying, "The Parent-of-the-Year award people called...you didn't get it, again."

 In reading through some of the other NaBloWriMo posts, I noticed there are quite a few "new moms" or younger parents writing during this National Blog Writing Month. How quickly I have forgotten the issues that surrounded those times in my kids' lives. Each age brings new worries, new illnesses/injuries, and new heartache as well as a deeper love and a sense of pride that is indescribable.

 My kids are 14 and 24. This morning while walking with my 14-year-old, we talked about the dreams we had while sleeping and the dreams we have about the future. She tells me I'm a great mom. I also received a text from my 24-year-old this morning that said, "Did you know you are the coolest mom ever :)"

 So, today (at least), my FaceBook friend and I are not on the same page, but tomorrow is another day with another chapter to be written.

 Life is short...apologize sincerely, and love unconditionally.