NaBloWriMo Day 17 - Random Status Post Thursday - The Consequences of our Actions

The random status post on my facebook news feed this morning ended up being a lengthy rant regarding a local issue, so I looked to the next post for today's blog prompt--which was (of course) someone sharing someone else's photo-quote-recipe-grumpy-cat meme, etc..  Seems like 80 percent of the news feed anymore is "shared" content and not "friends" interacting...but I digress.

The shared image was a list of "House Rules"...which probably should have been displayed prominently in every room of my home:

• If you sleep on it, make it up.
• If you wear it, hang it up.
• If you drop it, pick it up.
• If you cook or eat from it, wash it up.
• If you make a mess, clean it up.
• If you open it, close it.
• If you use it all, replace it.
• If you borrow it, bring it back.

If I had just implemented this simple statement of preventative maintenance a long time ago when my kids were old enough to understand, I could have avoided so many conflicts and confrontations over the years. 

Not only should the rules be posted, but the consequences should be made clear as well if the rules are not followed.  

So often, parents make up consequences on the fly and not only are they unrealistic and not fitting to the circumstance, but they are not carried out--making them empty threats.  A child learns at a very early age about empty threats and knows that when the parent wields the "if-then" statement, it is nothing to be worried about...

I have watched and listened countless times as young parents state the following while their little ones pick at a meal:

"If you don't eat your food, then you won't get dessert."  

A half hour later when the youngster is screaming for a cookie and has only taken one tiny birdie bite from their plate, the child is handed a cookie.  That precise instant is when the parental unit loses all credibility and the threats become empty and the child KNOWS it.

My favorite threat to watch play out is the young family on an outing with other families. When the young one has a melt down or is picking on another child, the frustrated, exhausted parent says,

"If you don't stop that, I'm taking you home."  

About the fourth time this statement is uttered, not only is it laughable, but the child knows the parent is never going to leave the group to take them home making it useless as a tool of discipline.  I nearly chuckle out loud when the parent then whines, 

"How many times do I have to tell you?"  

And I think to myself...the exact number of times you have conditioned the child to hear that--indefinitely with no consequences.

It's called tough love for a reason.  Be the parent...not the pal.